Why does virginity exist

View current visitor policy. Author: Jonathan Schaffir, MD. One commonly misunderstood part of female anatomy is the hymen. Many people might be surprised to learn that the hymen has no proven medical or physiological purpose. That situation is rare, and it can interfere sex or tampon usage, but it can be removed surgically. Though there are many instances where women do experience a small amount of bleeding from hymenal tearing at first intercourse, this is by no means a universal experience, as there are many women who have very little tissue there in the first place.

Another common myth is that the hymen is rigid and penetrable. The tissue is actually stretchy and flexible, which means it does not necessarily tear with penetration. In many cases, some tearing or stretching occurs over time from tampons, gynecological exams or vigorous exercise. The idea that virginity can be measured or verified is perhaps the most harmful and damaging myth. They highlighted that developing a sexual relationship with care and trust brought more satisfaction in people 18 to 25 years old.

Another study asked undergraduate students about the first time they had sex and their current sexual functioning. They found that people who had a more positive first-time experience had higher levels of satisfaction. The implication is that even though your first sexual experience is just a life milestone, it can still shape how you approach and view sex years down the line.

Some feelings that I think should be taught? Learn the basics to safe sex ». I never was. Why do people label virginity in a way that makes people feel unwanted after the first time? A virgin at 25 was supposed to be a unique and rare find, but also too much long-term maintenance. And when I did finally have sex, I realized and maybe he did, too that everyone actually is just a horse. The first time at Disneyland can feel like nirvana or be utterly anticlimactic. Or you may choose never to go to Disneyland at all.

The happiest place on earth is where you feel most comfortable, even if it means you never have the urge to do it. Keep reading: The health benefits of sex ». Christal Yuen is an editor at Healthline. Your hymen naturally wears down over time. It typically develops openings that allow for penetration long before your first sexual experience.

Sure, it's messy. But a little one-on-one time with your bloody bits is a completely normal, common, and healthy. It is possible that physically demanding activities such as sports can also damage one's hymen long before the first time they have sex.

Hymens are also extraordinarily elastic. They act more like a scrunchy than a breakable cover of plastic. Their elasticity allows for it to contract just as the walls of the vagina do. In some cases, a person's hymen can even break after having sex and grow back to their original state, making it appear as though they are a virgin. Therefore, a "virginity test" doesn't exist if you only look at the hymen. By now, you may have noticed that most of this talk concerning virginity primarily pertains to cis women.

Our society tends to put a heavy role on women and whether their sexual purity equates to their self-worth. There are no biological markers to determine whether a cis man is a virgin other than his word. Our society also tends to put more agency on a cis woman's decision to have sex than a cis man's decision to have sex. Many historical narratives have painted a picture depicting women as the only people who can control their sexual desires.

This same narrative also describes men as being unable to control their urges. Therefore, most of these sexist beliefs provided a double standard for women. Women were punished for not controlling their sexual desire, and men were not punished because it is believed that this is common behavior for a man to lack control.

And while we wrote in the past tense to discuss these historical narratives, we can start to understand how these belief systems have made their way into our current society. Phrases such as "boys will be boys" and "locker room talk," allow men to objectify women without societal consequences sexually. Women who have chosen to have sex and are seen as "putting out," or "easy," which also reinforced these old standards of self-worth tied to virginity.

Traditional views on losing one's virginity describe "penis-in-vagina" sex and these beliefs on virginity tend to reach a grey area when talking about oral or anal sex.